Random Monday: I Suck At Giving Condolences

Random Monday: I Suck At Giving Condolences

Yeah, I do, I suck at it big time.  Whenever I see a post on Facebook about something sad that happens to someone I know, I actually find it terribly hard to know what to say.  I do feel sorry, I do feel bad, but somehow saying it online when everybody else has said it looks a bit fake to me.  That’s how I feel anyway.  Doesn’t mean I don’t actually say anything, but it does feel insincere.  Usually, if it’s a close friend, I’d send a private message.  I don’t need to show everyone on their friend list that I care.  I just know that I do and do it behind closed doors.  That’s just me.

But, when it comes to congratulating someone though, it comes so much easier to me.  Funny that!  I have always loved celebrating other people’s wins and I find complimenting someone else so much easier than receiving a compliment too.  Is that strange?   I can easily go up to a stranger and compliment on whatever it is that I like at face value but to console someone?  I’m sh*t at it.  Unless we were in person.  That I can easily do.

Speaking of compliments, I was finishing up my Christmas shopping on Friday and had the loveliest most helpful sales person ever.  Actually all the sales people were really nice and helpful that Friday.  Must have been my lucky day!  Anyway,  I loved the makeup on the girl that was serving me at Myer so much that I went ahead and told her so.  You should have seen the look on her face!  The smile, the way her eyes lit up, because I know how much effort it does take to put on makeup.  Yes, it’s superficial, but it made her day – or at least her moment. 😉

I had this link come up on my Facebook feed over the weekend and shared it on the Baubles, Bubbles & Bags Facebook page because I thought it was such a wonderful project.  Basically, a student conducted a social experiment at school where she filmed and photographed the reactions of her fellow students when she announced that she was taking photos of things that she found beautiful.


The expressions on the subjects faces were priceless.  They were surprised, one even thought she was pulling her leg and told her off for saying it, and some were touched that she thought them beautiful.  And they were.  Or are.  The video made me teary, it made me sad in a way because I know that there are so many people that don’t regard themselves as beautiful.  And when I say beautiful I mean inside AND out, because I believe that if you’re beautiful on the inside, it’ll come through on the outside.

The video also shows how complimenting someone can make that person’s day.  That little bit goes a long way.  Try it, you’ll find that it makes you feel good too.

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A mum of 3 who loves writing, sharing tips, tricks and discoveries that covers styling, fashion, beauty, lifestyle, health and so much more!

  • I too find it difficult to know what to say to someone in the midst of a tragedy. Often “I’m so sorry” or “Thinking of you” is all I can muster, but it comes from the heart. And yes, compliments seem to flow so much easier. I’m a huge advocate for sharing genuine compliments – to friends, family and strangers – as often as you can. It makes the world a much nicer place.

  • Mel says:

    Gorgeous video. Love all the smiles. And I’m more of a private message kind of person too.

  • Tine says:

    I find it very hard to offer condolences too. Saying it isn’t hard when it’s texting or on social media, but when the person is right in front of me, I freeze up. It stinks and I feel absolutely horrid about it because it’s not about me, but words just can’t come out. So the most I do is mutter “I’m so sorry” and then hug the person.

    I’ve learned to be a giver of compliments since I came to Australia. Growing up in Malaysia, compliments are not freely given and when I get the seldom yet sincere compliment, I get all self-deprecating about myself because my parents wouldn’t simply allow me to accept the compliment just like that without saying something bad about myself. Instead of thanking the person for the compliment, I’d reflect that compliment with a “no, my XX is not good, etc”. I get complimented by strangers in Australia and at first, I thought it was strange. But in time, I learned to say thank you very much, either return the compliment or pay it forward to someone else sincerely.

    • Norlin says:

      Oh gosh, the not accepting compliments thing is such a Asian thing I think! I too cannot accept compliments and find it really strange. I remember when I was doing my first year of fashion school and my tutor gave me a compliment, being the regular thing to do I deflected it. She actually reprimanded me and said that it’s actually rude not to accept a compliment and to say thank you even if it’s uncomfortable. She’s Asian too but been abroad for a long time that’s why she thinks differently. From then on, I TRY my best to accept it. TRY being the operative word. Somehow, it’s always easier to say Thank You online than in person too – do find that??

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She's a mum of 3 who loves writing, sharing tips, tricks and discoveries that covers styling, fashion, beauty, lifestyle, health and so much more!  Find out more about Norlin here!

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